Honour Killing?

[chweetgurl]

Book talker i have a suggestion for you if you could contact some NGO's or support organisation for such issues in asian countries like India, Pakistan or Bangladesh where honour killings are more in number the true life experiences of people may help a bit more on your research.

[booktalker]

Hi Chweetgurl

Thanks for the suggestion! Actually, that's what I've been doing for the last couple of years and it['s been really interesting. I'm also going to the Karma Nirvana roadshow this summer and have been to a couple of conferences on honour killing. I had to do all that before I started writing (the book list I've posted are all the books and research papers I've had to read!).

Now I'm trying to put all that into the context of a young girl who these things are happening to. How does she feel about it? What makes her family treat her the way they do? I want to try to show it from the girl's perspective in a way that "western" readers will understand more easily.

Why I've been looking for help with questions, and am now looking for readers, is because I haven't had a lot of access to the every day life of a girl like this character, and as I am not from that culture, I have to be very careful not to make any mistakes in the small details, such as names, food, clothing, language, expressions etc etc. I really want the voices in the story to sound authentic.

As I'm half way through, I don't want to go much further without getting comments on what I've done so far.

That's really why I asked you guys, because although the family is Muslim, the cultural aspects of honour and shame are almost identical in other Asian cultures (though religion plays a part), plus, I know you are all serious readers and also, it seems to me that people on this site are very trustworthy.

I'm not convinced that the book works, for a number of reasons, so this is a first draft. Your feedback and brutally honest criticism would be very valuable for me.

B
x

[chweetgurl]

Oh Booktalker i only saw ur post now..Sorry for late reply..
The story concept already sounds interesting to me and with research and information you share with us i can tell you have put loads of efforts into this.
refering to a real life stories in media or online would probably help for your material.ofcourse you can start threads here asking questions to members
We will all support you through this

[booktalker]

Thanks, Chweetgurl. The writing's going well so far, I'm two thirds of the way through the book. Maybe one or two of you would volunteer to read it for me, either now or when it's finished (in fact I've already had a couple of offers to read when it's done, but comments on what I've written so far (13 chapters) would be useful now, in case I've not got the voices and cultural  :)details right).

Did I put a smiley face in there?? First time I've used one and it doesn't show in the preview. Well if it doesn't, at least you'll know I tried....

B

[Janu]

HI,

I am so sorry to hear about your cousin chweetgirl!

Honour killings are a terrible crime, but a sadly all to common crime in South Asia.

I read up about the issue for my final year dissertation. I was looking atthe work of the Grameen Bank in Bangladesh and how it has helped empower rural women.

In the case of honour killings it has had some limited impact. It was interesting to see how financial tensions particularly during the rainy season when work is scarce increased the likely hood of such a tradegy occuring. It was being argued that poverty relief efforts could have a benfit for these women most at risk.

From a slighlty diffrent perpective my ex- boyfriend he I was with for three years, threatened to kill me as I left him for my now husbnad, a Bangladeshi Musilm. he regarded it as an issue of "honour" and my leaving was seen as "insulting" his Indian heritage and Hindu roots.

Whatever the reasons violence towards women and  so called honour killings are totally unacceptable in any culture or relgion.

[chweetgurl]

tat sounds awfull Janu, i have an ex who kept stalking for  2 yrs i was so paraniod both here and india i had to cut off from our common friends so that he doesnt track me down etc..it was an ego and honour thing again he was an Indian as well..

What did u do when he threatened? it brings back dark memories for me and i shudder..
One of my neighbour in India she was on 19 but was attacked by her ex he threw acid i had seen it effect her so bad she 80% from face down..I had nightmares!

[Janu]

I feel sorry for you and thank god nothing like that happened to me.

I have heard of the such attacks in India and am shocked and sickened by them. It is great though that this forum exists to help discuss these otherwise hidden issues.

My ex weirdly treated as a bit of a joke! Laughing and telling me it did would not happen if I was "good". He told me that the hitting me was for my own good and would teach me to better. He used to say he did it out of "love".

It was only after I was rushed to hospital after trying to commit suicide that I gotr help.

My now husband met with me and went straight to the doctors and and asked what was wrong. When he found out the seriousness of the situation he immediately moved me into his flat. This was despite  the fact he was a muslim  and he would face criticism  from the bengali community.


He was my best friend at the time but we had been forced apart by my ex. He literally came and rescuecd me and in no small part probably saved my life according to the doctor.

[saffron]

Yes...stalking, I recall being stalked when younger...wasn't sure it was, but it was ...you have to be very careful, esp if you are single ..although that is not always the case I understand.

Horrid subject but real for many...

[pualabears]

All these things really shock me...thankfully I have never experienced anything of the sort but admire all you women who have survived it/experienced/whitnessed it.

I am gobsmacked that so many men treat women this way, as there objects.  Its shocking and sickening!

*PB*

[chweetgurl]

Aw Janu..Ur experiences are so similar to mine!! guess what i tried to commit suicide for same reason but this was a different ex who cheated on me with my so called best friend and harrassed me later..I always felt it was only me with such tough choices..but looks like thats not the case..I have spoken abt it openly first time here..i feel better...

I am definetly with you in terms bringing out such sensitive issues in light!

[chweetgurl]

http://news.rediff.com/report/2010/jun/24/three-arrested-for-delhi-serial-honour-killings.htm

Another incident..i dont know why people are so worried what others think or say cant think for themselves?!! were strangers more important then thier own sisters!! its inhuman

[booktalker]

I went to Karma Nirvana's roadshow last week - it was excellent. There was a young girl there who told the story of her experiences of abuse, and having to create a new life and identity for herself. I cried all the way through.