The Family - new series on C4

[bel]

Hi

There is a new series on C4 called The Family.
For this series they are following an Asian family.
The eldest son is married to another Asian girl, but her mum did not approve (different caste), and has not spoken to her for 5 years.
They plan on having their Indian wedding, and the girl wants her mum to be there.
It was very good, especially to see how the family have accepted their son's relationship, and have taken in their daughter-in-law. (they have had a registry wedding)
I think you can watch it on the C4 website.
Its on every Wednesday at 9pm, I think it's 8 parts, leading up to the wedding.

Take Care
Bel

[Shofny]

wow has this started yet?

[bel]

Yes, the first episode was on yesterday.
You can watch it on C4 website though....

[Ange]

I watched this last night, it was great, the mother and father have a really funny relationship and call each other names and stuff. It was sad when the girl was talking about her mother and how she rejected her daughters marriage partner due to the guy being lower caste and uneducated, but the family took the daughter in and treat her well. I think this series will be a really good watch, definitely entertaining as well as touching on some serious issues.

[monome]

i watched it too with my gf and it was informative and entertaining 
it was very sad about the daughter-in-law. it made quite interesting conversation post-viewing with my gf as we both shared quite different opinions about how the show might influence the indian community.

i thought the fact that they showed the dol's story was important, as it will show the supposed 'shamed' parents how they are really percieved to outsiders, which in this case i think is very petty and narrow-minded, and also, seeing what it is like for a disowned daughter they might be able to consider reconciliation.
I am interested to see how the story develops over the coming weeks, as their plight is close to my heart, and probably most on this forum.

[secret]

No i didnt see it but my mom said i should have... maybe i'll watch it online although from the sound of it they aren't a typical indian family... they are laid back! It'll probably make me sad to think that my partners family aren't like it.

[saffron]

Hello Monome...Please do share your story with us, I dont know if we have had it already...but it would helpful to many to know what happened, and how you have coped?

I tried watching The Family...but kept falling asleep! I was very tired. But when I awoke later, I could only remeber snippets of it...I talked into the night with Sweet pototo, and said how I felt strangly protective towards the issues in this family but at the same time had mixed feelings about the male roles and their perception in particular of a womans role! Its bound to be a bit of a shock to me after so long...to actual see the roles so defined...the husband calls the wife from the bedroom whilst she is in bed..' are you geting up to make me breakfast...I feel like having a paratha today'..she gets up a bit disgruntled but is soon seen in the kitchen making a paratha!  Its all just accepted as norm, proably in hundreds and thousands of households...

Later the husband is interviewed...and you can see that he and his wife are quietly affectionate...and he says...I have to look after her...something to the effect of..'because there wont be anyone to cook for me otherwise'.... Ill have to keep watching to get a better picture of the family, I think its interesting.

I think its lovely that the family took the young woman in despite the rejection from the' ramgharia' family...a caste issue. She was brave to go back and see her brother, i hope that viewing the programme will help her family to see that they are missing out on her life, and lets hope her family go to the wedding?

You can watch this again on...channel4.com/4od

[Bhavni]

I watched it it was really great and probly showed alot of issues that have never been brought up in the public.
I think it will show everyone how and what young modern asian girls have to go through.

[chweetgurl]

It was quite interesting n funny...but i did feel sorry for the daughter in law..i only hope her mum makes it on her daughter's big day n rebuild relationship with her from there...
Her In laws n husband seem supportive which is really good

[:(]

it was really good, i am really happy for the girl getting married shes so brave to go through it! I cried through it though cause thats the reason i never followed my heart scared of losing my family like she has, but shes gained her husbands family which was beautiful, but you still want your mum sometimes in life.

[a.c.]

Just watched it and it made me really sad, for the young girl Shay, for her mum who is missing so much, and for Shay's new family who love and support her and their son, and have gone a long way to help the couple.

I really like the Mum in The Family, she is funny and very sweet. Not a big fan of the Dad's attitudes- bit too old school BUT what Shay reported he said- offering her protection no matter how her marriage turned out- redeemed him a great deal in my eyes.

I think that this series will be a good one for MT to blog about- please also see the Blog thread! We can speak out about the series because the couple are mixed caste.

Saffron I know you will understand- the girl is a Ramgharia and the boy and rest of the family are Jatts...

[saffron]

Yes , I managed to watch it again from start to finish last night.

I think this is a lovely family, they want to do the right thing,its interseting that the father in the family relayed a story of how he and hs wife were caught out seeing each other before they married and were giving a ticking off! His experience may have helped him and his wife to see that their children need the support to work things out, esp as Shay has been so lucky to have a new mum and dad who clearly know the issues and were prepared to speak about them. Clearly they dont hold prejudice about across caste reationship.

I think the most touching thing for me was seeing Shay talk to her mother in law and her husband about what the brother and mother had said..the responses of the brother and mum in law when Shay ran upstairs..they were clearly upset for her and said things that touched me about concern for her. Shay needs to hear that,Im sure she will have done now!

Then Shay going upstairs and looking through her photo album..how many times have people on here done that? I recall doing the same thing again and again over the years, I hope the mom would have seen the emotional trauma of what Shay is going through...its there to see on tv.

I wondered if Shays mum has shut Shut Shay out all these years because of the loss in her own life ..of her husband, and if Shay leaving has brought back her loss all over again?

I know my family may be guilty of shutting me out at the time they did because my father died the year I married,I was clearly told it was because of me that he died...maybe  one loss is sometimes confused with the next loss for people, and they dont have the courage to reslove because they are still angry for someone leaving them already?

Im making no excuse for the prejudice between caste groups, or people who are stubborn...but I think there is sometimes more to it then what we see.

I hope we might have Shay's mothers opinion one day...and that she is able to say sorry to her daughter for the damage that she has clearly done over so long...

[bugbear]

I watched this.  The Grewals are such a sweet family - the father is just putting on bravado for comic value.  I have lots of uncles like this - they are harmless and actually very loving and nurturing husbands to my aunties!

I wonder how old Shay is?  She seems very young considering she has been legally married for 5 years. 

Its heart wrenching to see what she is going through.  Hopefully her mother will watch this and realise that there is no justification for cutting off her daughter.

It makes me feel even more blessed for the family that I have - it makes me realise that I have had it easy when I see things like this.

[monome]

Im guessing she isnt that old. But what struck me as strange was that apparently her mother has said she was too educated to be with sunni, but it seems to me she must of met sunni while still at school   as the grewals are with her in her graduation photo rather than her own mother who's presumably disowned her by then.

Hello Monome...Please do share your story with us, I dont know if we have had it already...but it would helpful to many to know what happened, and how you have coped?

iv posted my story in the introduce yourself section. we are in a bit of stale mate at the moment with my gfs parents, her mum seems to be in denial/just pretending my that my gf hasnt said anything and carrying on as normal. Her sister married out of caste, and it has caused a lot of grief for the family.

[chweetgurl]

Watched family last night...shame that shay's aunt is not supporting her in wedding due to family ties with shay's mother...the fruastration shay was going through is similar to wat we all r facing here..i only hope her mum makes it on wedding it wud mean so much to shay!