Saffron on the radio now!

[monome]

I see it as a sort of garden of eden scenario to many british asians. You see everyone around you, at school, at work, on tv etc. indulging in relationships at their free-will, but your then told that you not allowed to. I cant begin to imagine the confusion and personal conflict that my gf and her siblings have faced.

[saffron]

Yes Monome,  I recall as a young person..around 16/17 thinking if I have a boyfriend there is nothing I could do but hide the relaionship, and yet the kids at college were very free and easy and there families knew, took them home for tea, and walked freely wherever they wanted to go, when I did have a male friend I recall at about 19...I lived away from home then...but my uncle saw me at the shops, I understand that got back to the family...it didn't seem to matter what my relationship was..they just assumed you were rotton...and doing forbidden things...you kind of felt wrong ,and believed what you were doing was wrong...its a transference of feelings from the background and people we are raised with...no one needed to tell us.

Now if I see anyone in that situation and I knew them..Id say hi ..smile and say see you around..or wouldn't embarrass them !

Yes the confusion and conflict really is there...ingrained.

[chweetgurl]

I did move around a lot with my circle of friends back home both male and female but our society so narrowminded if they saw me with male friends the word wud reach my parents.Mom was quite liberal so she used to mention even if i plnned to go out with male friends just inform at home to avoid embrassments for them.So then on i informed her even if i went clubbing she supported me on the other hand my dad was quite opposite and traditional no male friends! So i hd a mixture of upbringing though i can say my dad is more relaxed since i am an adult now.